Look at the title of this review. Now, you might be thinking “here we go, another review of paragraphs of platitudes from the wholesome Tuned Up folks. I like those people. But goodness, being positive all the time is so dull!”

Well, I’ll admit snarky humor isn’t my finest talent. But I’ve been urged to be honest about this album. And honest I will be.

There are at least 100 comments in the private Tuned Up Lounge Facebook group debating the merits of Greta Van Fleet, and whether we should even be reviewing this album. The truth is, I had a difficult time getting through this record. Usually, I can get through a record in one or two sittings (I have a short attention span, what I can say?). This time, it took me five attempts to get through this record. And I don’t even think the musicianship is bad. It’s actually quite good. And gosh, I enjoyed the band’s performance of “When the Curtain Falls” on Jimmy Fallon. But there’s just something cumbersome about this album for me personally.

Is the cumbersome quality of the record because of the band? It’s hard for me to say. I’ve always had a hard time with jam bands. A Grateful Dead fan I am not. A Phish concert would probably bore me to tears. But I’m a fan of a big hook in a rock song. “My Way, Soon” is the closest the band gets to a hooky anthemic track, and I actually quite enjoy it. “Tears of Rain” is one classic rock power ballad cliché after another roped together into a track that feels a lot longer than the 3:50 minutes it is in reality. This song is perhaps the foremost example of the paradox that is the vocal prowess of frontman Josh Kiszka. Many have accurately described style as screechy (no relation to that character on Saved by the Bell), yet he has a very wide range that is a rarity in most rock bands these days. Most active rock frontpeople, in my experience, are out of tune far too often in a live setting. In my one time seeing Greta Van Fleet live at Rock on the Range, I found this not to be the case.

For most of this album, it seems to be following one formula. Settle on foundational riff. Pen some vague verbiage about the difficulties of life with epic sounding metaphors. Jam out. Plug and play into the same midtempo time signature. Rinse and repeat. And insert just enough cool moments in between that I find myself making the face of the kid in the Brent Mambo gif.

My favorite tracks on the album are “My Way, Soon” for its likability and hearkening of the coming festival season (may it arrive quickly and safely!), “Trip the Light Fantastic” for its atmospheric vibes and “let’s go up and down the scales” vocal style, and “Tears of Rain,” because it’s so corny I can’t not like it.

So there. There’s my Greta Van Fleet review. I’ve been spending all this time chasing twenty one pilots fans when I all I had to do apparently to increase engagement was write about this band. Eat your heart out, haters on both sides!