by Aubrey Liston

My first experience of Mitski was at 3am, getting lost in an endless vacuum of Tiny Desk videos while at my volunteer shift (see here). She not only woke me up, but also reconnected to me feelings I never knew I had. She’s different from most performers in the way that she doesn’t try to hide her insecurity with fake confidence. She revels in her insecurity, which has always made me wonder—is she out of fucks to give? Or is she truly tired? Both, I think.

There’s a quiet desperation that comes with being a woman. When discovering the social constructs regarding the gender, you quickly learn what gives you control in a world where control is poured into the laps of men. Of those things, one wields more control than all the rest—apathy.

Be the Cowboy tells the story of an apathetic woman unraveling.

Mitski traded her cringy electric guitar sounds for a cleaner, “Stranger Things”-like sounds, but her spirit is still there—singing about desperation while in total control. Musically, her album has a little bit of everything from the sound palette. “Nobody” is a solid pop tune (“Do you dance or do you cry? Who’s to say?”).

“Lonesome Love” is an easy-almost-country song. But nothing is easy about the lyrics—still delving straight to the core: “Nobody butters me up like you, nobody fucks me like me.”

It’s an evolved Mitski—no more screaming into the guitar. But her angst is still there: “I gave too much of my heart tonight” of “Remember my Name,” for example. The lyrics are sophisticated when need be (“You love me so hard and I still can’t sleep” of “A Pearl”). Yet, they are always soul-crushingly honest: “I know who you pretend I am.” of “Washing Machine Heart”).

Mitski is a tired, out-of-fucks-to-give version of all of us. And we should thank her for it.